"Delaying Sex Makes Better Relationships"

This article references an interesting study done by Bringham Young University's School of Family Life comparing couples in their first year of marriage who were categorized by "early sex", "late sex", and people who waited till marrige. The study found that  people "are more comfortable letting people into their bodies than they are with them watching their cat." But also that couples who abstained till marriage rated relationship stability, relationship satisfaction, sexual quality, and communication significantly higher then those who had "early sex".

Mutal Dependency

"By hurting the beloved, the lover wishes to signal that their mutual relationship, and in particular their mutual dependency, should be modified. Hurting the beloved may be the last alarm bell that warns of the lover's difficulties; it is an extreme measure signaling urgency."

"Another consideration in light of which the lover may sometimes hurt the beloved is related to the lack of indifference in love. Since the lover greatly cares for the beloved and their mutual relationship, the lover cannot be indifferent toward anything that may harm the beloved, their relationship, or the lover's own situation. This lack of indifference toward the beloved may lead the lover to take measures which hurt the other when viewed within a partial perspective, but can be seen as beneficial from a global perspective. This is the painful side of care: a close connection exists between people who help and hurt as well. In the same way that improving the quality and happiness of our lives may demand some suffering, improving the quality and happiness of our beloved's life may require such suffering."

"Therefore, people in love prefer to be hurt by the beloved rather than be treated with indifference."
You Always Hurt the One You Love, Aaron Ben-Zeév, psychologytoday.com

Psalm 143: 1-11

Lord, listen to my prayer:
turn you ear to my appeal.
You are faithful,  you are just; give answer.
Do not call your servant to judgment
for no one is just in your sight.

The enemy pursues my soul;
he has crushed my life to the ground;
he has made me dewll in darkness
like the dead, long forgetten.
Therefore my spirit fails;
my heart is numb within me.

I remember the days that are past:
I ponder all your works.
I muse on what your hand has wrought
and to you I stretch out my hands.
Like a parched land my soul thirsts for you.

Lord, make haste and answer;
for my spirit fails within me
Do not hide your face
lest I become like those in the grave.

In the morning let me know your love
for I put my trust in you.
Make me know the way I should walk:
to you I lift up my soul.

Rescue me, Lord, from my enemies;
I have fled to you for refuge.
Teach me to do your will
for you, O Lord, are my God.
Let your good spirit guide me
in ways that are level and smooth.

For you name's sake, Lord, save my life;
in your justice save my soul from distress.

Cognitive Dissonance

The fox who longed for grapes, beholds with pain

The tempting clusters were too high to gain;

Grieved in his heart he forced a careless smile,

And cried ,‘They’re sharp and hardly worth my while.'

The fable follows this pattern: something is desired, it is determined that the thing desired is unattainable, the desired thing is mocked/critisized.

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling caused by simultaneous conflicting ideas. "I want that, but something's keeping me from getting it."

The connection between the spiritual life and the concept this fable illustrates is undeniable. Everyone has a desire for God, holiness, and happiness. But living it out can seem like a goal to high to reach. So to soothe our cognitive dissonance, we mock the thing we desire most but are too weak to have.

Abrahem

I'm giving a test in my moral theology class tomorrow which covers moral object, intention, and circumstance. For class I found several different scenarios to read where we'd identify each source. For the test, I decided to make my own and give it as an essay question. If you read this, see if you can identify each then write them in the comments.

Abrahem lives in a very poor town near the border of Israel where crime, death, and violence are an everyday occurrence. He needs money because he insists on taking his pregnant wife to the best hospital. There is another more affordable hospital he could take his wife to, but he does not trust it due to its bad reputation.



Abrahem knows an organization that will pay a large sum of money if he agrees to plant a roadside bomb that will instantly kill any person near it when detonated. The organization tells him that the bomb will be used to kill who they think may be a corrupt Israeli businessman. All Abrahem has to do is dig a hole, put the device in the ground, cover it, walk away, and he’ll receive enough money to provide the best care possible for his wife and child. No one will ever know what he did.


Even though he knows and believes that it is always wrong to kill an innocent person, he agrees to plant the bomb because he thinks he’s doing something good. He does the job, receives his payment and everything appears to be going well. The next day while in the hospital with his wife, Abrahem sees on TV that an innocent group of soldiers (who are helping his city and country) were killed by the bomb he planted!

The Social Network

Great film for all intensive purposes. It made me think about what success in our society demands and really means. Even though there seems to be some controversy over whether the film makers really got all the facts straight/added random false things to it, I think it's good timing for most American's today, especially males my age. It seems realizing the American dream today has necessary moral reservations. I came to my own personal conclusion that the most profoundly religious people and top business executives are mutually exclusive...at least in terms of profoundly Catholic religous people. It's kind of an intersting irony that reveals some truth about the practice of making large sums of money and having power over so many people's lives.

Job market for a BS in Psychology...

On the top is a pen about 80% completed that I was emptying of compacted ram dung, it was about 6 inches deep...on the bottom is the female pen which was about 8 inches deep. The male pen I did completely by hand, the female pen (which was about twice the size of the male) was mostly cleaned by a front-end-loader but still involved quite a bit of "pitch-forking".

It's humbling doing this kind of work when I've been told all my life getting a college degree will get you somewhere in life. There's something rewarding about it I have to admit. It's a male thing probably, but it seems doing manual labor is in my DNA. I get some kind of primordial pleasure out of it and I feel some kind of connection with my agricultural ancestors.

If nothing else it makes life seem more simple. Simply being in the country away from lots of people and noise has a kind of transcendent quality to it. Things make sense and there's a black and white answer to most everything. There's a closeness to the vitality of life and a connection with the rhythm of nature. The fresh air is nice too (that is, when my nose isn't a foot away from a pile of excrement).

I feel in command doing that kind of work, especially around animals. In some way it feels like I'm lowering myself to an insignificant level by stooping to cleaning an animals fecal matter. But viewing it from another angle, I'm revealing my own mastery over the animals. They can't serve themselves and don't know what's best for them, but I do. They don't notice they're wallowing in their own filth, but I do. They're scared of me. I have the power to manipulate them. I can decide whether they live or die and have no moral obligation either way. I self-reflect, and they don't.

Wow...a liberal arts degree allows one to experience the world deeply...even shoveling shit.